“I never thought we would get to the point where our children would rather do anything than spend time with us.” —Sarah J.
Life can be very busy these days, possibly even more so than a decade ago. Throw social media into the mix and you start to see each family member more and more willing to disengage from family time to spend it with others.
When you have been a Christian for many years, it can be easy to assume that sharing your faith with your children will cause them to want to have the same relationship with God that you do and by proxy, give you an emotionally healthy family. This might be true, but your Christian faith won’t necessarily make you the kind of parent that will automatically know how to make your children feel valued, heard, and understood.
Mark and Sarah Johnson had assumed that as their two children grew older, their family life would be okay and they wouldn’t encounter too many problems they couldn’t overcome because of their faith. But no family is perfect, and there is always more to learn.
“I never thought we would get to the point where our children would rather do anything than spend time with us.” —Sarah J.
Life can be very busy these days, possibly even more so than a decade ago. Throw social media into the mix and you start to see each family member more and more willing to disengage from family time to spend it with others.
When you have been a Christian for many years, it can be easy to assume that sharing your faith with your children will cause them to want to have the same relationship with God that you do and by proxy, give you an emotionally healthy family. This might be true, but your Christian faith won’t necessarily make you the kind of parent that will automatically know how to make your children feel valued, heard, and understood.
Mark and Sarah Johnson had assumed that as their two children grew older, their family life would be okay and they wouldn’t encounter too many problems they couldn’t overcome because of their faith. But no family is perfect, and there is always more to learn.
“I never thought we would get to the point where our children would rather do anything than spend time with us.” —Sarah J.
Life can be very busy these days, possibly even more so than a decade ago. Throw social media into the mix and you start to see each family member more and more willing to disengage from family time to spend it with others.
When you have been a Christian for many years, it can be easy to assume that sharing your faith with your children will cause them to want to have the same relationship with God that you do and by proxy, give you an emotionally healthy family. This might be true, but your Christian faith won’t necessarily make you the kind of parent that will automatically know how to make your children feel valued, heard, and understood.
Mark and Sarah Johnson had assumed that as their two children grew older, their family life would be okay and they wouldn’t encounter too many problems they couldn’t overcome because of their faith. But no family is perfect, and there is always more to learn.
Understanding the Importance of Family Counseling
Christian family counseling is still an underused resource that can help families work through their challenges. No matter the situation, providing a safe and supportive environment for family members to address their concerns, work through difficulties, and strengthen their relationships can make a big difference.
Family counseling helps family members acquire a deeper understanding of each other’s needs, develop effective communication skills, and learn healthy coping mechanisms to navigate life’s challenges.
Family counseling can also help families address specific issues, such as parenting concerns, marital difficulties, or child behavioral problems, and provide a sense of hope and healing for those struggling.
A Parenting Journey
Mark and Sarah and their children, Emily and Joshua, lived in Round Rock. Their kids went to a good school, they were members of their local church, and both Mark and Sarah had good jobs. On the outside, their family life looked great, but Emily was starting to act out and Joshua was unwilling to come out of his room when at home. Mark and Sarah felt like the closeness they had once had with their children was slipping away.
Between work, school, church, and social obligations, Mark and Sarah could feel the strain on their relationship with each other, too, but didn’t know where to turn for help.
One evening, after a particularly stressful reactive argument with one child, Mark and Sarah finally agreed they needed outside help but wanted to make sure it was from someone who shared their values and faith. Their search led them to contact us at Head to Heart Ministries—a Christian counseling services provider near their home. This decision marked the beginning of their journey toward reconnecting with each other and their children.
The Importance of Unity in Parenting
When we talk about the family as a unit, we’re not just talking about all the family members being physically close, we are also talking about them being emotionally and spiritually connected. Mark and Sarah knew that a Christian counselor would help them to build a stronger relationship with their children in all three areas.
A Christian therapist can offer wisdom, support, and practical help, all from a faith-based perspective. They can also provide guidance on enhancing relationships at various stages.
How Christian Counseling Addresses Family Challenges
Christian counseling is different to secular counseling in that it addresses challenges by integrating faith-based principles with evidence-based therapeutic techniques.
Christian counselors recognize that faith plays a central role in counseling as it provides a foundation for understanding and addressing the complexities of human relationships and emotional struggles. By acknowledging the importance of faith in the healing process, Christian therapists can help families address their challenges from a more rounded perspective. This approach can lead to more effective and lasting solutions as families learn to rely on their faith to navigate life’s difficulties and find hope in the midst of struggles. Faith can be a powerful tool for healing, growth, and transformation.
What to Expect from Christian Family Counseling
Christian family counseling typically begins with an initial consultation, when the counselor will meet with the family to discuss their concerns, goals, and expectations. The counselor will then work with the family to develop a counseling plan which may include individual, group, or family therapy sessions.
Christian counselors may use a variety of faith-infused therapeutic techniques, including cognitive-behavioral therapy, family systems therapy, and emotionally focused therapy. Families can expect a safe, supportive, and nonjudgmental environment, where they can openly discuss their concerns and work toward healing and growth.
Some additional ways a therapist can assist:
- Prayer and Reflection
One of the habits Mark and Sarah had let decline was daily prayer, so they adjusted their daily routines to where they prayed together in the mornings, even if just for a few minutes. This reminded them of their shared values and commitments and helped them to reconnect spiritually as a couple.
They also set aside one night a week as a family night, using it for playing board games and talking about their week. Sometimes they listened, sometimes they prayed together; the structure was always open, but their children knew it was a time when they could share their thoughts on anything in a safe space. These times together not only strengthened everyone’s faith but also increased their openness with one another.
- Effective Communication
The strongest families are those willing to be open and honest with each other. For many parents who did not experience this growing up, finding someone to teach them how to create this kind of environment is especially useful.
A Christian therapist can provide valuable tools and techniques for better communication among family members. For the Johnsons, this meant learning to listen with empathy and speak with kindness and respect.
- Quality Time
In the book Boundaries by John Townsend, he talks about the five top needs in our relationship. Spending quality time together is one of these, so with this in mind, the Johnsons began dedicating Sunday afternoons to family activities, such as hiking, volunteering at their local food bank, and volunteering at a local dog shelter. These afternoons helped pull them back toward each other as a family unit.
- Biblical Guidance
The Bible has a lot to say about relationships and parenting, and there’s a lot of wisdom and guidance to be found in its pages. Mark and Sarah’s Christian therapist helped them incorporate biblical wisdom into their parenting methods. For example, they explored verses like:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger” (Ephesians 6:4 ESV) This verse encouraged them to respond to their children’s moments of disconnection with love and patience rather than react, becoming a place of safety for their children even when they were upset with them.
“He took a little child and set him in the midst of them. And when He had taken him in His arms, He said to them, ‘Whoever receives one of these little children in My name receives Me; and whoever receives Me, receives not Me but Him who sent Me'” (Mark 9:36–37 NKJV). This verse reminded them of the importance of valuing their children.
Overcoming Challenges Together
Life is always going to be filled with good times and bad times, and strong families have developed ways of facing these life situations together. Using things the Johnsons learned from their counseling sessions, the next time a difficulty came up—this time Emily’s struggles at school—they leaned on each other for support instead of individually shutting down.
- Dealing with Conflict
They also learned how to handle conflict differently. In the past, they were all more likely to react and blame each other when they were upset, but they learned new conflict resolution techniques rooted in biblical principles, such as ongoing forgiveness, patience, and understanding. They discovered that addressing issues calmly and respectfully brought them closer together.
- Maintaining Balance
Unfortunately, the Johnsons could not change their schedule for work and school, but they were able to reorganize their free time together so that they could all have a better work- and school-life balance and spend more time enjoying each other’s company.
Building a Sense of Community
In our culture, it can be easy to believe that we need to do everything ourselves, but Ephesians 4 would counter this by highlighting the need to be part of a church family in which everyone plays their part.
Here is how the Johnsons reached out:
- Church Involvement
Mark and Sarah joined the prayer ministry team and their children began assisting their youth pastor. These activities deepened their faith and gave them more in common in their Christian walk. Being more actively involved in their church provided the Johnsons with a sense of belonging and purpose.
- Service and Outreach
By volunteering together at the local food bank and the dog shelter, the Johnson’s children were able to see and experience the value of observing others in caring roles. It also helped Emily and Joshua learn how to be responsible and humble while serving their community.
After seeing a Christian therapist from Head to Heart Ministries for a number of months, the Johnsons were delighted to see changes in their children’s attitudes and behavior. Not only that, but the time they also set aside for ministry and service meant that they added mentors and friends to their list of people they could help, and receive help from, in their community.
Finding the Right Christian Counselor for Your Family
For a family to stay strong and connected, there is no one quick solution. It is a lifelong journey that requires ongoing love, faith, humility, learning, mutual respect, and support. It also requires knowing when to ask for help or accept it.
Finding the right Christian counselor for your family can be a daunting task, but there are several factors to consider.
- First, look for a counselor who is licensed, trained, and experienced in working with families.
- Second, consider the counselor’s faith perspective and ensure that it aligns with your family’s values and beliefs.
- Third, ask about the counselor’s therapeutic approach and ensure that it is evidence-based and effective.
- Finally, consider the counselor’s availability, location, and fees, and ensure that they are a good fit for your family’s needs and budget.
By taking the time to find the right Christian counselor, families can ensure that they receive the support and guidance they need to navigate life’s challenges and find hope and healing.
Family Counseling in Round Rock, Texas
If you find yourself facing challenges in your parenting journey, or you are seeking ways to strengthen your family bonds, consider reaching out to a Christian counselor at Head to Heart Ministries. Recommended by many local churches, we can offer you the wisdom and support you need, all from a faith-based perspective. With God’s love and guidance, you can create a home filled with love and lasting closeness.
Ready to strengthen your family bonds? Book your introductory in-office or video session with one of Head to Heart’s pastoral counselors. We look forward to helping you receive personalized guidance rooted in the love of God.